Couldn't resist could you? I knew it. Well don't complain to me if I spoil any suprises! You have been warned.

I will endeavour to describe scene by scene what occurred, but please bear in mind that I have no programme to go from, so I may have scenes out of order, I may miss out scenes altogether, or I may even invent scenes that never even occurred. But I doubt that. I will try my best to write all the details I can while its still fresh(ish) in my mind. Thank heaven for DVDs!

Where were we? Oh yes - the lights dimmed and the crowd roared. The back wall of the set was an enourmous video screen, and on that was projected a giant heartbeat monitor which was getting faster and faster…

As I do not know the names of the dances at the moment, I will make up my own with whatever I think sounds best. Who knows, maybe mine will be better than the real names.

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MICHAEL THE GREAT

Then there was blackout and the dancers took their place on the stage. The lights remained out, but the dancers were occasionally illuminated with strobe lighting as they started dancing. This scene is just like Planet Ireland, but better. After a short time we realised that it was MICHAEL FLATLEY at the front of the troupe! Now call me a traditionalist, but I really love the slightly clichéd openings of most Irish dance shows. They always start out with a dramatic overture, going into a troupe dance that builds and builds up to an explosive entrance to the lead male dancer. I LOVE that structure and was expecting that to happen in this show too, but I was wrong! Michael has thrown all his previous rules out the window and broken off from the accepted way of doing things. So I was very surprised when the show just - started! With Michael and troupe on stage doing a Planet Ireland style thing. The rhythms were complex and precise, yet parts of it were recognisable as being based on Planet Ireland or Warlords. As the lights came up a bit we could see that Michael and the troupe were dressed in warrior armour! I don't know if they were supposed to be Greeks (they looked more Roman to me) or what, but the costumes were great. Michael was in full Roman/Greek/Whatevertheheckitwas gear with large metal shinpad things on his legs and a giant … metal thing… on his arm. Like a giant gauntlet, but one that went up his hole arm. Very impressive looking. The troupe dancing paused every now and then to let Michael do some spectacular solo dancing, which reminded me a lot of his Feet of Flames solo, but given the freedom of the entire stage! Amazing! As far as I can remember there was no music at all in this number.
The crowd rewarded this dance with enthusiastic applause and Michael looked really pleased to be back.

Courtesy of Michaela Fulop (CLICK HERE for more fantastic photos)

THE DANCE OF THE SNAKE CHICKS / ATTACK OF THE GREGORIAN MONKS

The next dance was interesting to say the least. On the big screen was projected a video of a snake writhing around, and on the ground were a few female dancers doing wriggly snakey moves. Then comes the first new Ronan Hardiman music of the evening! WOW - DRAMATIC GREGORIAN CHANTING OR WHAT! Ronan Hardiman + Chanting Monks = Aural Bliss for me! Whenever he uses chanting in his music the effect is dramatic and amazing, and that is true here! I want that CD! The background image changes to a giant cathedral, and a load of dancing monks come on, this time wearing Irish catholic robes, white with celtic designs on them. The monks do balletic style leaps and surround the snake chicks, forcing them into a hole in the ground. Now I reckon this is either supposed to represent Saint Patrick getting rid of the snakes out of Ireland, or the snake chicks represent sin and the monk guys are repressing it all. Loved this dance, and loved the music. I WANT THE SOUNDTRACK NOW!

THE UNINTELLIGABLE SONG

First musical interlude of the show, a singer comes out, no idea who she was, she had blonde curly hair. Sorry to say, but I didn't like this. Either the singers voice was incredibly weak or she was having problems with her mic because I couldn't make out a word she said, it was really weak and lacking in power. This will need dubbing on the DVD I reckon! I think there were nice sweeping helicopter shots of Ireland playing on the screen behind her while she sang. Apparantly this first singer Eimear Quinn , former Eurovision winner.

THE VIKING JOURNEY

This was interesting… on the video screen was a storm ocean, and the male dancers came on wearing Viking horned helmets. Their formation was in the shape of a ship, and some had oars that they were paddling with.

THE VIKING INVASION

© Michaela Fulop

This starts off with a nice Irish softshoe dance where a load of colleens are prancing around the fields of Ireland generally being cheerful and beautiful. Then the Vikings come on the scene but the Irish girls don't seem to mind this one bit.

THE DANCE OF THE BUTTERFLY GIRLS

© Michaela Fulop - Lisa Anderson at far left

Oooh now this was interesting. No idea what it had to do with anything, but interesting nonetheless. Maybe it's supposed to represent how nice the nature is in Ireland. This is like "Celtic Dream" re-imagined by a hippy. It's all pretty colours and girls dressed as flowers and butterflies and bumblebees (Yes! Bumblebees! Thought that costume looked a bit silly, but that's just me.) This is a visually beautiful dance, and it features some absolutely heavenly Ronan Hardiman music. Totally blissful… haunting… ethereal… I…WANT…THE….SOUNDTRACK!

RETURN OF THE FLUTE JAM

Michael comes out and plays the flute to a upbeat "Celtic Fire" style tune. I think he was joined with the other fiddlers (FOUR OF EM! Including CORA SMYTHE who totally rocks out whenever she is on the stage!)

THE DANCE OF THE BRITISH STUFFED SHIRTS

This is sort of like "Warriors" but without the menace. A load of posh, stiff upper lipped British soldiers dressed in their silly red uniforms (and white wigs, I think? Or maybe I imagined that) march on and do some formation dancing. Then a few out of the group do a sort of hornpipe thingy. Not exactly spectacular stuff but I think you're supposed to dislike them anyway. At one point they all sing "Rule Britania". This whole scene is danced in front of a double screen. The larger screen shows a Irish landscape, while the smaller screen in front of it has the appearance of a nice Irish cottage. This is important for the next dance…

THE BURNING OF THE VILLAGE

The evil British general gets a torch and sets fire to the cottage, which is engulfed in flames (on the screen, of course, but the effect is quite striking!) This is a sad piece, where the ragged Irish peasants carry their injured and dead out of the burning cottage. While the cottage burns, computer generated spirits of the dead float out of the cottage.

Then at the end comes a real surprise! Out of the shadows comes a priest… but not just any priest. It's FATHER MICHAEL! He says (in a pre-recorded voice over) "Forgive those who trespass against us" or something like that… then collapses as the lights blackout.

FOUR GREEN FIELDS

I think it was about this point where a male singer (Paul Harrington, also from Eurovision) came out and sung "Four Green Fields". He looked in his fifites, weatherbeaten but strong looking. He had a powerful voice. Couldnt make out the lyrics too well when it was sung, but according to the internet it is:

What did I have, said the fine old woman
What did I have, this proud old woman did say
I had four green fields, each one was a jewel
But strangers came and tried to take them from me
I had fine strong sons, who fought to save my jewels
They fought and they died, and that was my grief said she

Long time ago, said the fine old woman
Long time ago, this proud old woman did say
There was war and death, plundering and pillage
My children starved, by mountain, valley and sea
And their wailing cries, they shook the very heavens
My four green fields ran red with their blood, said she

What have I now, said the fine old woman
What have I now, this proud old woman did say
I have four green fields, one of them's in bondage
In stranger's hands, that tried to take it from me
But my sons had sons, as brave as were their fathers
My fourth green field will bloom once again said she

THE DANCE WHERE THE FOOTBALLING GUY RUNS AWAY FROM A TANK

Not sure wherabouts this short scene came, but a guy dressed in a green and white football strip came out and started doing tricks with the ball. Then on the screen behind him a giant tank rolled into view and at shot him. End of scene. What?!??!?! Havnt a clue what that was all about. I thought it was to highlight a change of setting, and the following dances were going to be about the troubles in Norther Ireland, but that never materialised, and the following dances are back in the past with the British occupation.

Ammendment - according to other fans, this is a reference to an incident where a British tank opened fire on spectators at a gaelic football match. Never heard of that before, but I'm a bit ignorant of Irish history.

© Michaela Fulop

MICHAEL THE REBEL The British stuffed shirt guys are poncing around again, but this time Michael, dressed in scruffy Irish urchin costume, comes out to face them. This bit reminded me a lot of the bit in "Heartland" (from Riverdance) where MF was dancing against the drummers. There is no music, only drums in this. Michael did some spectacular solo steps, and after each solo he faced a soldier and got rid of him. Then he went offstage, only to return with a bodhran! Yes, Michael plays the bodhran in this! And here is the proof...

If I remember correctly this was followed by an amazing fight where a group of rebels fight against the British soldiers. If you thought "Hells Kitchen" was a macho dance, you aint seen nothin! This makes Hells Kitchen look like a little kitten with big adoring eyes asking for a saucer of milk. There is no music, just rhythm patterns, sound effects and on the screen is a projection of the Dublin Post Office, the scene of the battle in 1916, with great big explosions going off.

I may be getting the order of these scenes wrong, but I think at the end of this dance, everyboy dies and there is a lament as a white angel floats over the bodies singing. On the screens you can see the strings but if you just look at the stage its a good effect. After this the whole company come onstage to briefly sing a patriotic Irish song "A Nation Once Again".

Michael Ball once said of Riverdance "If the lead guy sings as well, we are all in troublle." Well, he DOES sing, albeit with the rest of the company.

And as the Irish in the audience waved their flags with pride, Act 1 ended.

Wanna read what happens in Act 2? Sure you do? Then CLICK HERE.